“time for giving all you’ve got” —Run River North

*it was reeeally hard to pick a line from this song ahaha
Was so negative in my last post I meant to write a follow up to say that things worked out and it wasn’t all ideal but it worked out, and this week is just as hectic and stressful as last week only perhaps moreso because that cold I’ve been fighting (and, let’s be honest, barely winning against) has officially over taken me and today is day 3 of feeling like complete SHIT because I am headache-y and sniffle-y and congested and exhausted all the time and always

Tutoring tomorrow is going to be rough because I can barely think straight, but I know she has midterms next week so I can’t bail on her———

But the last two weeks have just shown me again and again that some days are hard (and some days are REALLY hard) and I feel like more and more is being placed on me and it’s getting harder and harder to feel okay with it BUT despite everything, things are going to be okay. Maybe there is no reward for killing myself for my family and maybe they don’t even realize that I’m having a really hard time right now and maybe they never will acknowledge either of these things but I’m still here—

I’m alive and I’m breathing—
even though I don’t always want to be—
and every day is a gift—
even though I’m not always as thankful as I should be—

I’m still here
I’m still here
I’m still here

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