who i am…
My name is Bernadette. I’m a twenty-something year old living in Southern California. I have a BA from a school I didn’t like in a field I’m not sure I’m interested in. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing in life, and I’m still kind of trying to figure things out. It’s kind of frustrating sometimes, but I know everything’ll work out (at least I hope so, haha).
Thanks for stopping by.
why i started this blog…
I just want to find a way to to feel okay when things aren’t perfect. Things aren’t perfect now; most days they’re barely “good,” and I’ve spent too much time fighting to keep my head above water, and even more time wondering if it even matters whether or not I let the current take me. That kind of thinking hasn’t proven to be very conducive to living a happy life, so clearly I need something different.
I saw this posted on tumblr, one day. It’s about leaving—or rather, being left—but I especially like the idea that growing up means that someday you accept that you can’t control everything. Things will change, people will leave, the world will fall apart over and over again, and it’s okay.
Then you grow up and realize that sometimes, no one is to blame when things fall apart.
“You know, when I was younger and people walked away, I would always blame them. And if I couldn’t blame them, I would blame myself.
I would tell myself that it was my fault for not being enough for them.”
“You grew up,” you said.
“I did. I grew up and I realize that it’s no one’s wrong doing when they choose to walk away. In life, you get that choice of staying or leaving. You can’t help it if you want to leave and you can’t stay somewhere if you’re always trying to pry the door opened. Eventually, you’ll find a way out; whether you break the window or smash the door, if you want to run, you will be gone.
I stopped getting angry at the world when it fell apart. It’s out of anyone’s control. Things change; people come and people go. And you can’t hold that against them.”
To Grasp the Concept of Leaving // Ming D Liu